You may discuss any—or a combination—of the following as long as it results in 4 separate 5-7 sentence paragraphs: 2 to your peers. Please respond to the ideas below-- in particular the italizied portions.
During our in-class discussion, it seems that many of you associate being “intimate” with being “homosexual” or in some cases, with being “feminine.” The obvious question is, then, why is this so? These are two separate concepts, so why have people—in this case, some of you—decided that one is just as good as the other?
Second, in the article it states that men were not always so hesitant to “go out” with each other, and that there have been two factors involved in how men presently feel about “man dates.” Both of these boil down to insecurity with society’s opinions of “manliness.”
So, here, I will ask a less obvious question: Why are men so concerned with what society thinks?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
24 comments:
First let's start by asking ourselves the definition of "intimate." To me, it means creating an informal friendly atmosphere with someone in a private and personal way. So when a male becomes "intimate" with another male it is obvious that there is an attraction between the two. When two males feel attracted to each other, people look at them as being "homosexuals" so that is why we relate homosexuality with intimacy. Femininity in males doesn't necessarily mean that they are homosexuals, if anything it would make them metro-sexual so I can not state my opinion on that because I am not one of those people who associate intimacy with femininity.
Quite some time ago, women were considered less than men; now that they are equal, women often seemed to be competed with over power. In today's society, men give everything a second thought when it comes to one-on-one outings with a person of their same gender. Apparently, the thought of men going out alone makes them question their masculinity. Without a woman by their side, their insecurities go up, and "manliness" goes down. Nonetheless, whoever a man walks with should not determine how manly they are, or what their sexual preference is.
I agree with Brenda C when she mentions that being "intimate" with someone of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean you are "homosexual." Being intimate is simply spending time with someone you share a common interest with. Femininty is not a reflection of "homosexuality" only that society labels it that way. Society views intimacy and femininty from one persepective beliving that those two characteristics make a "homosexual." With doing so society is shutting out those who in my belief are "metrosexual."
Men today are self-concious about associating with eachother because of how society judges."Masculinity" can be taken away from any man if they seem to be interested in anything that may be "homosexual." Society image of a masculine man has an influence on all males and on how they behave in everyday life. Males avoid activities with other men to keep there reputation of being "heterosexual" to the public eye.
I asked a few of my male friends for their opinion based on why men are so concern of what society thinks. I received different perspectives but for the most part, they all said "Men were brought up to show no emotion and keep their feelings to themselves" so that is why they tend to avoid doing things that in their opinion are not so manly. Some of them said that it depends on the guy and how comfortable and sure of his sexuality he is. For example; if a guy has homosexual tendencies and he does not want to show other people, he would try to avoid male outings because he's afraid that he might get too comfortable to the fact that it flourishes into something more. Guys tend to be a bit homophobic because they don't want people thinking they are gay when they're not, some would even say the phrase "no homo" which I find absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary, if anything it would make them look gay like they are hiding something.
Men are concerned with what society thinks because society view is the view of everyone. Whether male or female, "homosexual" or "heterosexual," no one likes to be judged and it can become an issue. Everyone wants to be accepted, and the standards that are set by society make it difficult to be yourself. Men are highly influenced because the thought of being "homosexual" or abnormal would be embarrasing.
Amanda, I don't think you understood what I said so let me explain. I said that intimacy CAN relate to homosexuality depending on the situation. In other words, if a male becomes intimate with a female that does not make him a homosexual because he is showing interest in a person of the opposite sex. In the other hand, If a male becomes intimate with another male, that makes him a homosexual.
I agree with Amanda when she said "the thought of being abnormal would be embarrasing to men" because they don't want to seem vulnerable in front of anyone. They have a hard time expressing themselves to women, imagine how they feel going out in public with the same sex. It is all about their insecurities because if you are comfortable with your sexuality people's opinion of it shouldn't affect you.
I feel man dating is okay. Who a person chooses to go out on a date with whether it's male or female it's their business. Soon as someone see two men together they quickly assume someting isn't right between the two guys. I just look at it like this people is going to talk regardless of what. You can be having dinner with one of your oldest childhood friends that homosexual and immediately someone is going to have something to say.
I believe men today have too much pride. They always try to guard theirselves with a shield. The only thing most men worry about is what the person on the outside is going to think of them. I feel that if you know that your 100% man why should you care about what anyone has to say about you.
I like what Amanda worded noone likes to be judged and being judged becomes an issue. It's hard sometimes when people has to take the judgement that people put on them. The wrong judgement can cause some people to go the way society said they were going and they weren't really going in the first place. For Example: Martin Lawrence is a strictly straigt man and because society start a rumor saying that he's gay his actions starts to reflect on that rumor.
I do strongly agree with Jazmine, Men have too much pride, they are always on guard, worrying how people especially other men will percieve them if they are seen with anohter male. That is partly society's fault, society has groomed us to be judgemental. When in fact who are we to judge?
male dating is whatever the two males want it to be. It can be formal or informal, intimate, non-intimate. just like women males can also have male friends they want to have dinner with, see a movie together or even go the movies together. This man date should not be viewed as the two being homosexual. Businessmen have dinner with their male counter-parts almost all the time perhaps to discuss a new business venture, among other Business related issues, when we see them in their suits, do we view them as Homosexual?
Yes Brenda, you really spelled it out to those who perhaps did not view it the way you and i did. Men do give everything a second thought when it comes to one on one outings with a person of the same gender, in fear that their masculinity will without a doubt be in question.
To start off with the whole male being femenin i dont think that really proves anything. For the simple fact that every male has some type of femeninty in them. For example some men might do their eyebrows or nails or might even like girls movies that has nothing to do with being a homosexul. In this day and age most people try to avoid things like that seeing as everyone is so judgmental and concerned about what people think about them. To me you are who you are.
What Francis said I believe is absolutely true. I do think that every male has a feminine side to them. Some males aren't afraid to bring their femininty out, but some are too afraid. By a male showing his feminine side he is automatically accused of being a homosexual. I say anyone that's being judged in any way just allow the haters to hate, because their going to do it anyway.
I agree with Amanda and Brenda beause being intimate doesnt really have to do with being sexual in a way. Maybe two bestfriends could be intimate meaning going out shopping going to eat dooing things together like a regular man date. I would find it kind of hard to just find two men sitting together in a candle light dinner seeing as everyone is so concerned and worried about being seen as a homosexual. It would be rare to find to men who are actually comfortable with having activites such as theses. Which would prove alot on how society thinks and how closed minded people actually are.
I Would say as a male of general population somtimes men do find it hard not to be the toughest guy. There is allways some type of discussion about who is the manliest and with that it makes it harder for men to become comfortable with being with the same sex. Just like we discussed in class its allways a question about who is going to "Man" the grill at family party. I would say its a title and a state of mind in which that we all go through about what we should and should not be dooing. Again all of this is based on society and what everyone else thinks and how we are looked at. Without the question in society at hand i belive people would be comfortable if only what you think about yourself would matter.
I agree with Francis that you simply have to be yourself.I understand that in today society, the mindframe is that we suppose to do only certain things with the same sex.With time the idea changes an emaxple when women where considered beneath men.Until then, the idea for two men dinning will be consider too feminish even homosexual.With that said,am confortable in who I am and could decide when something is to out of hand.But, however there are just certain things that may not be wrong,looking out of the box but within it simply looks wrong.Example two men going out for dinner if it doesnt involve business.
There is no real question about being homosexual, it's just the fact that being intimate with one male to another is just to "gay" for them. Homosexuality is one subject to be touched, but comparing intimacy and feminism to homosexuality is two different subjects. There are such things as metrosexual which are heavily highmaintance but are not straight.
I assume as time progressed, men were more stricter to put up with "manliness." As men became more harder on themselves and also tabooed the question of homosexuality. Why men are so concern with what society thinks is because gay men are shun upon everyone in the world. Gay men are like bad smell to everyone, and for a straight man to stoop down there level, would be unforbidden to them.
i agree with jazzmine, many people just take one glance and automatically think that two men having dinner is automatically gay. I actually have a best friend, who i consider to be my brother. We talk about everything and go anywhere we wanna go. If the case was sharing a bottle of soda together, in a lighted candle dinner then thats where we will eat. I guess it all depends on how a person would look at the situation.
I agree with Francis because now a days, many men do things that a women would normally do now. The examples he gave about doing there eyebrows etc. is one of the qualities of a man being clean and well groomed.
I also agree with Francis that every male his his femenin in them.I personally think that it all depend on the person.I am very comfortble with who I am and can show what people consider a softer side when the time is right.Most of the time it would have to be with a female.We have pride and like it or not it is in every male so you have to understand when we see something like two men have dinner awkard.
Post a Comment